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Why don't you talk about those mother-in-laws who do care of there grand children when there daughter-in-law is on Job. As a Muslim country and Muslim women what else do you expect, Allah has given women power to perform multiple tasks even science has proved it that women can perform multiple tasks as compared to men. ladies of Pakistan take care of there children for the sake of future of there children, and the country.

At the same time these women of Pakistan also performs different jobs in different sectors of Pakistan from Army, medical, engineering and even in fields to help there men to run there country and household. Stop creating a negative image of Pakistan!

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This article is only giving an image of typical SAS BAHU drama. We all know as a women not only in Pakistan but also in other countries like USA, UK You have to take some responsibility even if not of a husband at least of the child you give birth! Dude, this happened to my sister just recently. She literally did everything, but the guy's right, there is something seriously wrong going on. Women have little to no rights in this culture.

What a shame. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, redistributed or derived from. Unless otherwise stated, all content is copyrighted The Express Tribune. covid open app. home GET APP.

home The Way I See It 10 reasons why you should NOT marry a Pakistani man. Syed Zain Raza December 07, WRITTEN BY: Syed Zain Raza A financial analyst by profession, who is passionate about his coffee and loves traveling and reading, Zain is a self proclaimed globe trotter who is posted by his company in China these days. More by this writer. I am a coward Read More. I found peace between Sunnis and Shias in a foreign land Read More.

Tooti, saari ki saari mein Read More. Hamiidah nakalemba 9 months ago Reply My boyfriend is a Pakistani and he behaves different from them. Eva 2 months ago Oh darling it s because you re on the honeymoon phase. Shireen 10 months ago Reply Women have been conditioned in such a way that whatever they do is unpaid work. Me 11 months ago Reply Agreed. Esha khan 11 months ago Reply Excuse me! Gena Jameson 2 years ago Reply Do not deal with any of this ladies.

Make him get you your own house with enough room for you and your own family. Make sure he has enough to care for you. His mom better not say anything to me or I will laugh in her face.

I will have whatever tea I want because all I have to do is ask or else whats the point of a husband? If he wants to divorce then thats his problem. Take your own power for your own life and do not accept disrespect. It doesn't make sense to allow people to make you unhappy. Muhammad Saad Bin Naveed 2 years ago Reply Ahhh please bro! are you still living in s? Get yourself out of the pakistani drama fantasy. Life is not like this in reality.

Fatima Mahmood 11 months ago Dude, this happened to my sister just recently. Muttayab 2 years ago Reply Wallah we are not that type of person. Ali Rashid 2 years ago Reply This is the most ignorant post I've ever seen unless you were married sometimes in the early 90s this isn't the reality especially if you dont live in pakistan.

Barbara Wang 2 years ago Reply OMG can't agree more. I dated a few Pakistani guys earlier and a few of my colleagues are from that country. They are even worse than Chinese guys. SOOOOO RUDE and their brain is teeming with male chauvinism, super bossy, no respect paid to women. Each time i have to communicate with this Pakistani colleague, i roll my eyes a gazillion times in my mind.

Muhammad Ali 2 years ago Reply Funny, i must say you shared about your family story and experienced. Ahmad Humayun 2 years ago Reply You know what? youre putting false information in everyones mind and your website might be viewed internationally which means you're disgracing pakistani men in front of the whole world. STOP IT!! camille caumont 2 years ago Reply If Pakistani women have to give a dowry to get a husband then please shut up when you say you are a muslim country.

the dowry belongs to women and not the opposite. Asma 3 years ago Reply People who are saying that what the author of this article wrote is not the actual situation because you guys or your friends are probably married to a well educated man alhamdulillah for you but if you go in some Pakistani villages you will see how all of these things are true and this is what women in Pakistan suffer every day So that's true that every Pakistani woman doesn't have a cruel husband but the majority of those living in villages or even some of them living in cities do have a monster in their life, a monster to whom they have been tied for the lifetime.

Maricel Obias 3 years ago Reply so scary. Not every German was a Nazi and not every Pakistani man lives under there parents thumb.

You have not met every Pakistani family and you have definitely not met me or my family. why do you feel the need to make it any harder for the rest of us.

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my brother is married to a French woman who isnt Muslim and they get along with my parents and family perfectly. You really need to travel and see the world meet new people and learn about life. Anyways thank you very much for making me feel like this and ruining my day.

muhammad abdulrehman 3 years ago Reply How many Pakistani men have you married? farzana yasmin 3 years ago Reply i have married a pakistani boy being a western girl and i find none of the above true he is opposite all of the above written on pakistani boys and i had a good laugh reading this as my husband cooks for me mostly and his ego is never hurt plus his family is more caring and loving towards me then him and lastly he n his family agree i have the first right on him and his things first and lastly he never stops me from meeting or talking to my friends or he doesnt let the child in me die and from past 9yrs we have only one daughter so he doesnt use me as an asset to produce kids.

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I really do not agree with this post Omar Farooq 3 years ago Reply Coming from a guy who also wrote that the only "jaan" in this world is "ammi jaan".

Stop portraying your reflection on other Pakistani Men. If we dont want to marry then we have thousand excuses for that, and when we are determined in love, we see no obstacle. Dont be judgmental next time.

Adriana Atefah C. Khan 3 years ago Reply I got very sad not because of the husband. But I remembered that I am daughter in law of a pakistani mother in law. And she always very lovely with me. I don't have my mother anymore. And she became everything for me. While engaged, I thought about give up but what made everything worthwhile was to remember how my mom treats me and how she is always worried about her son not make me unhappy.

I just love her so much. In the same way, I would try to do my best to respect and honor my mother, I am not going to give less than this for my mom in law. I will always try to do my best for her and always try to take care of her if needed, because if my husband is a good man for me, educated and respect, it is all because she taught him. She deserves all of us me and him Please guys, don't generalizes the people because even not the fingers are equal.

Rushaan Rasheed Sheikh 3 years ago Reply whooaahh!! easy there lady. if it happened to you, I really sympathize with you but you really should not generalize such monstrous behavior to a whole nation dont you think? ???? ???? ?????? 3 years ago Reply My parents never interfere where i am going, how i am doing at least i am not doing something wrong And they have been permitted me to marry with who I like to stay where i like either in Pakistan or either in any foreign country Its my life and its my choice.

???? ???? ?????? 3 years ago Reply I am a Pakistani and we never saw such things in our surrounding, i am not going to disagree that you have wrote your own story implemted on all pakistan.

But thats not true at all. pakistani people are so flexible and they knows how to treat the people. Outing with boys are not common in pakistan but its deprbds on the culture.

Many they are going around with friends and specially the foreigner wife is out of this story. Foreigner wife is completely completely out of this story Hasan Kazmi 3 years ago Reply You're only talking about CERTAIN types of Pakistani families. I am a Pakistani man whose married to a white woman and dated white women my whole life. My parent's give us suggestions when WE ask them for it, we never lived with them, she can hang out with platonic guy friends as I hang out with platonic guy friends.

This is dumb. Begum 3 years ago Reply The worse thing is being married in Pakistan is money. They come here. Don't want to support or their family don't want their son to support his wife and kids.

It's all about them. Cuz they are born in Pakistan so to them it's they should get every thing and cuz we are born in England they think we deserve nothing. Some guy 3 years ago Reply Wow generalizingmales just Becuase you had a bad experience in life and you made a wrong decision marrying a bad guy that's fair for every good person in this country I am sorry but every country have good and bad men if you can't seperate the two it's not the people's fault Thank you.

Emzed Zee 3 years ago Reply I can't believe this is coming from a Pakistani man It really hits the nail on the head. Pk 3 years ago Reply I agree some of this content, but five fingers is not equal. Mujahid Ur Rehman 3 years ago Reply Wel written! Whatever is written, thats another issue; but thing I liked is, its just spilled out of your heart. I partially agree with the article.

In most of the cases the relationship between the Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good; rather its pity, and sometime very much bad. Privacy shouldn't be compromised in anyway.

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Its not just the men, girls don't like their husbands to meet freely and spend time with the other female friends. Its just understandable.

Lastly I would like to come to the solution of this issue. Before marriage mother owns the son A sort of. After marriage son shares his love with his wife, and usually wife gets more love normally; its natural; or even if it isn't more love still sharing the love in equal levels is not accepted by mother.

One main important thing we all miss here is; the mother-in-law was daughter-in-law once. Then why she accepts to transform into a so called monster?

Why this chain isn't breaking? We need to break this chain. If both respect each others area, it will be better. One more thing which I strongly disagree is, may be the writer is not aware of the conditions in foreign places. No doubt there are such serious issues here in Pakistan but Europe isn't heaven either. I want to explain by naming the countries but its inappropriate, and so I don't.

Look at the neighborhood of Pakistan, you will surely find the worst example.

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So it is no way acceptable or even permissible to use the name Pakistan for discussing such issues. What I believe is one of the main reasons in our society for lacking behind the other nations are these domestic problems, which hardly find solution.

We need to seriously diagnose and t treat them. Best of luck! Ali Raza 3 years ago Reply Thumbs up. Dude, don't take it too serious.

It seems that you are a great fan of Saas Bahu dramas We are not that bad as you think. The worst post but still i am smiling how you have been baptized by the "Saas Bahu" culture thingy. Andreia Andreia 3 years ago Reply I believe the majority is in this situation. If not, then why they need to hide their faces to comment here telling they are 'happy'?

Happiness is all about freedom. Rabiya Farooqi 3 years ago Reply uhm, i just want to know more about the life in pakistan.

Single pakistan men

i was so astonished when i read this materials, but i felt much better when i read the comments below. i'm not a pakistani, but i have a pakistani bf,and his mom looks like a very kind lady. Cyrus Khan 3 years ago Reply MArriage mesna a couple formed by a guy and a girl. a 18 years old boy can also marry a 23 years old girl. money is not needed.

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if we demand a money, money will go further far from us. Aanand Keshav 4 years ago Reply Interesting information indeed! Your suggestions are important as well as down to earth. Before marrying a person taking the final decisionit is really important to know the life partner. You will have to think of all the cts to make your decision excellent. This post is so informative in this regard. htm Thanks! Tuti 4 years ago Reply Probably not everybody will get the same I am Muslim, I did not find any of those behavior among of our Muslim community, I think I don't find any single ayah or hadith that mentioned wives should serve the family of the husbands, she is only responsible for her husband and kids, this culture is more like indian culture.

It's too sad to mention it though, but thats the reality.

agree with you

shnzermom 4 years ago Reply can the men there have 2 wifes? Harris 4 years ago Reply I'm a Pakistani male and frankly found this post funny. It amuses me to read how people think about us males these days, while this thing maybe held true for the villages and people who come from these villages, people in the city are totally different. Judging a whole race of people from actions of a few is the work of a narrow mind.

I suggest you research before making such postsmy friend. nazia saleem 4 years ago Reply Most of Girls ABCD, BBCD they all have double standards and ready made assumptions when it comes to culture and husband import from Pakistan in the beginning. i would like to remind all of them, The fact of the matter is they are like neither 3 nor 13 because neither they are fully religious nor they are fully westernized.

But these Girls never miss a single opportunity to use religion and their liberal life in western society as their advantage. either way to turn as per situation so that is how it is, all those girls happily married or horribly divorced may not agree with me. but we have seen many examples and as well their surrounding. Bitter to swallow the Truth. Khan 3 years ago So complicated.

Very confused your comment. U ppl watch a lot of Drama serials. Mona Aeysha 4 years ago Reply hi, many other reasons too I am sure people especilly women know them better Pakistani men force women to do whatever they want in life, they will never ever love their wives, their only love is their one minute sex and thats it!

many do it at their own wish and desire,some even control their wives like slaves pakistani girl 4 years ago Reply a pakistani husband is advising all not to marry a pakistani man as they are all vile and all mothers are monsters in law whilst claiming he himself respects women and HIS mother is AWESOME not disagreeing that alot of men are idiots. they come in all shapes and sizes LOL. M 4 years ago Reply This is the MOST true thing I have ever read!

and I am honestly shocked to see a guy has written this hats off to u bro N lame shame to all the other men who r sayin bad stuff to u! Tomolika 4 years ago Reply Pakistan men are either womanisers or wife beaters majority of them. Saad 4 years ago Reply Not at allas far as I know it depends on family.

Thanks to Allah. That's the big thingI want to treat everyone equally and help them etc. ConfusedGirl 4 years ago Reply So there's no chance for me, a Malaysian girl to be married to my Pakistan boyfriend? Abdullah 4 years ago Reply Only that she has to impress me to marry me is true and that is also until I am having an arranged marrige. If it is a love marrige then all of the above given points are void.

And even if it is an arranged marrige I would always love my wife with all my heart. Plus, my mom is no t a monster. I DON'T KNOW IF ITS JUST ME OR EVERY PAKISTANI MAN IS LIKE ME.

Hani Calista 4 years ago Reply Well I think it more sounds like Indian for me than Pakistani family. Dowry this is Indianmost Pakistanis are muslim so the man need to pay the Mahr to the woman.

Some women bring Jehez furniture to the house but it's not compulsory. People will talk but it will gone by the time. Doing all house duties. If married to a low class man then yes. But most of middle class Pakistani women more likely for being lazy, all cleaning jobs are done by their servants.

Whisky Lover 4 years ago Reply LOL some of the comments on this article.

interesting. Prompt

Guys, it was obviously meant to be taken as a joke. Nobody in their right mind is stupid enough to truly believe this as factual. Lighten up! Pakistani Boy 4 years ago Reply Why only Pakistani man?

There are many countries who's facing this condition and i was visiting villages last year, and its seems like they living happy life than us in cities beside it no one is perfect and before blaming monster-in-laws Please look at your own character. The Turth 4 years ago Reply Why not! i saw many of Pakistani woman who lived happily ever after I Guess Your Mom Had A Forced Marriage. Rabia Naz Khan 4 years ago Reply I thought this article was by a lady hahah at last some man felt the pain!

My marriage of 13 yrs ended partially due to the monster in law of a saas. Khalid Nazir 4 years ago Reply All fake and propaganda these people humiliating Pakistan.

Ramiz 4 years ago Reply I find this post to be very stereotypical. My husband is a Punjabi Pakistani and I have never experienced anything like the treatment described by the writer of this post from him.

Granted, we don't live in Pakistan or with his family, but he married me knowing that there was a possibility his family would object to the marriage. He has always given me the freedom to do what I want. If I work or don't work, my choice.

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If I want to go out with friends, he doesn't have any issue with that. And we have a thing called mutual respect and open communication. He is a caring, sensitive man and has always told me that my happiness is his priority and wants me to tell him if anything he says or does upsets me.

He doesn't consult with his mom or any of his family when he makes decisions, but he does discuss it with me, his wife. He works very hard and also helps around the house without complaint.

He's a very patient man, very wise and generous. He doesn't deprive me of anything and treats me the way a woman should be treated.

that necessary

If I want something, he always tells me I don't have to want, he gets it for me, and I want for nothing. Material things mean little to me, but if I say I want a new laptop, phone, tablet, clothes, makeup, or if I need money to buy stuff for the kids which are from a previous marriage, so he is supporting kids that are not even biologically hishe always comes through, but here's the thing I don't ask for much or often, because all of my needs are met and I'm happy. I'm happy because he loves me and my kids and because he loves us, he always makes sure we have what we need and does his best to give us things we want too.

But the biggest reason I am so happy is because he is the most positive, strongest, most confident, sweet, kind, generous, wonderful man I have ever known, and I give his parents a lot of credit for the way they brought him and his siblings up.

He has never been one to conform. He's made his own choices and decisions and he is happy and successful because he knows what he wants and goes after it without hurting or abusing others. He made it clear to his family that he loves them and respects their feelings and opinions and he does help support his parents, but he doesn't compromise his own happiness just to please them. There've been times when his dad in particular tried to argue with him and make him do something, and he listened calmly and never once raised his voice or said an unkind word to his father, but he did not do what he was told.

He did what he felt was best for him. He is a very wise and well-balanced person.

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He takes on a lot of responsibilities and he fulfills them. He's not a people pleaser, and I realized something recently. There have been times when he was really busy at work and didn't have a lot of time to spend with me and was always tired and I got frustrated and felt neglected, but when he had a spare moment, he always called or took photos and videos to share with me and show me what he was doing. And sometimes it might be just a few minutes, but he always made time for me.

And it's the little things that really mean the most. I noticed that some have commented saying some of these ladies are lucky because they married a Pakistani man and are very happy and don't have issues with his mom, but luck is random chance. I believe I am blessed beyond measure. Race, creed and color has nothing to do with a person's heart, character and behavior.

But I can honestly say that I am proud to be married to a Pakistani and I'm happy because I truly believe he is my soul mate and such a good man. Muhammad Ahsan Rasheed 4 years ago Reply Overstatement of everything Only his thoughts of how thing happen Exaggeration to its peak!!!!

Sana Badar 4 years ago Reply amazing that a man has written this actually our society has been spoiled sorry to say, all mothers are not the same we can see a wide range of self sacrificing to most self fish mothers, who consider their sons as their property proper knowledge of our religion can lead us to know both the rights of wife and mother balance is the essence of life!!!

Rasheed 4 years ago Reply The way you put it in this article, the husband might as well be Darth Vader and his Mom a satanic nanny. Women have a lot of leverage in marriage too, albeit smaller than the man's family. BushraNaqvi 4 years ago Reply Oh my!! This was so on the button and i am pleasantly occupied knowing that it came from a man. I wonder, a MAN can feel it too?

Thanks for recouping my faith!

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Visitor 4 years ago Reply oh look someone who thinks Pakistanis are evil. This person thinks nothing wrong of a man's wife roaming around outside with other men. These are the beta males who sit at home thinking they are "modern" while their woman roams with other men. Pakistani Boy 4 years ago hahahaha So Ture. Tabbi Hale 4 years ago Reply Stereotyping is a bias. By generalizing like this,you are doing a huge injustice to the numerous pakistani guys and families who are completely unlike this.

Of ALL the people I have known, or heard of, in my whole life, only 1 friend of mine had this problem, and one other young girl. So yes, the problem exists, and there should be awareness, and correction. But your article is a defamation. First of all, anyone who is a correct muslim would not and should not act in this way. Its not allowed. Second, more education is needed, and more social censure.

Instead of writing unfair articles, write encouraging articles. And take an active role in spreading education in the country. If every young person who FEELS such things plays a partilliteracy CAN be slowly eradicated.

Syeda 4 years ago Reply I was like, " Hmmm good write up, "Good", well raised points, and then at end "Syed Zian raza"? o A Male writer? O Wowwwww :O :D O:. Asad Malik 4 years ago Reply Kids these days yes kids need a pen and express tribune to vent out their frustrations. They watch lots of dramas which alienates their reasoning capabilities.

All they want is to jump on the social issues bandwagon without doing proper homework. Marriage is bond and you are give ample of time to choose for yourself. No one is perfect but ALLAH swt. I wont ever deny the fact that pakistani men are good.

They are under immense pressure from the society for 6 figure salary and well being. They work a lot to achieve this sacred relationship. It is the education and moral values instilled in you by your parents that transforms you into the person you are. Dont generalize this into your biased critical evaluation and yes. Get a Life.! Samar Ikram 4 years ago Reply I would agree completely with the mother-in-law and dowry part. And trust me, education and urban areas do not matter if you have the misfortune to marry in an abusive family.

My in-laws are highly educated. They have doctors, PhDs and Army employees. And they are not just verbally abusive they are the hitting and pushing kind. That being said, my hubby always tries to protect me. I can meet my male class fellows and work outside home. I know many families who do not abuse their daughter-in-laws. Sehla Binte Mumtaz 4 years ago Reply Okay This article is wrong on so many levels. This may be a case in some houses.

but there are good people too and you want to change the tea brand for whole family. but can't change it for yourself buy a smaller pouch for God's sake. one for yourself, if you can't compromise on this little thing. There are men like that all over the world not just in Pakistan and on this "monster-in-law" thing.

I have seen bad mothers-in-laws but I have seen bad daughters-in-law too And you want the liberty to accuse your husband of Extramarital affair but you don't want him to show his insecurity about having male-friends. Syed Muhammad Raza 4 years ago Reply Stereotypical. Olivia 4 years ago Reply agree to disagree. shuja ul islam 4 years ago Reply I am here for the comments Didn't even read the article.

Rafiq 4 years ago Reply I was getting married next year and my fiancee read this article, she is now not sure.

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this article is ruining my life and my dreams, she has shared it on her fb profile and is actually spreading it. I love my family yes i do but everyone is not alike, there are compromises everywhere but never the same. please don't build stereotypes break them.

with you

Ahsan Haroon 4 years ago Reply Zain Raza you would make a wonderful wife to a not-so-lucky man someday. Mahnaz Hasan 4 years ago Reply Very biased and immature view just like in the TV soap plays!

Btw, the written word has impact beyond your perception what are you planting in young minds? Nouman 4 years ago Reply The highest divorce rates are in the most developed countries where people are free to marry black, blond or brown and even live together for years before feeling comfortable to get married.

There is no perfect marriage solution any where in the world but unless someone wants to drive you to a particular direction we shall seek what are the success stats if we follow their footsteps. Laila Zeeshan 4 years ago Reply I totally disagree with this article. Its just full of too much of drama. Thingd arnt as bleak here in Pakistan as this gentleman is portraying. And going through some comments here, they are mostly targeted towards punjabi men.

Well, Im an urdu speaking girl who got married to a punjabi guy and things are totally opposite of what this article is trying to highlight. I live in a joint family system where privacy is very much respected. I was never asked for any piece of dowry.

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